I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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