I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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