I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize