I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize