remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
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Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
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After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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