You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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