I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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