did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize