Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
God, I missed his penis.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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