Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize