Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I cut my penus on the lid.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize