I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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