Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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