I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize