none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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