trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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