HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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