I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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