If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize