no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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