So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
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You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
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I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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