I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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