Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize