Nicole vs. Life
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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