her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
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are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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