She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
His nipple licking is glorious
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