Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize