Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
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I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
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Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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