I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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