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Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
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