i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize