We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize