You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize