Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize