I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
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She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
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I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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