I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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