He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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