The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize