Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize