worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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