Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Do you still have your period?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize