But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize