Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize