Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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