she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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