fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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