At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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