Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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