In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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