Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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